LOVE
YOUR
LIFE

That’s what I read on the t-shirt of a girl about 13 years old as she passed by me on the sidewalk today.  I thought; “Wow, that is wise beyond her years!” Then, immediately thought; “Maybe she just liked the color”.
But, really, what an amazing observation to wear around on a t-shirt!  It didn’t say “love life,” (which is important as well) and, “your” was in italics to make sure you read the emphasis correctly. 

Love your life.  Not your neighbor’s life.  Not the person in the magazine’s life.  Not the life you wish you had.  Your life, right now, love it!  Wow, what a HUGE idea for a teenager!  There are plenty of adults that never learn to appreciate that concept.  It’s easy to find things in our lives we wish to change, especially when we are having a particularly bad day.  However, it takes an intuitive and patient person to love every part of life, regardless of what it is. 

I don’t know if this young woman actually grasped the weight of the words she wore on her t-shirt.  I do hope, though, that she continues to wear it so the rest of us can be reminded to love what we have. 

As you may recall the Japanese word for friend is Tomodachi. Here is another post from my friend in Japan:

About one year ago I moved to Japan.  I did not do so because I wanted to, I did so because my husband was transferred for his job.  I put on a happy face and tried my hardest to make the best out of a situation that I wanted very little to do with.  Everyone who learned I was moving to Japan would tell me how wonderful an experience it would be and how lucky I was.  I knew they were right, but I was having a difficult time with what I was having to give up.  My job, my friends, my identity; I felt like I was leaving it all behind.  Who would I be in Japan?  What would define me?  Leaving a place and people you love is a difficult thing to do.  However, recreating your life in a new place is even more difficult. 

At first I found myself pulling away from social situations. I realize now that I was afraid to make new friends because I didn’t want to go thru the heartbreak of having to say goodbye again.  I found solace in doing daily tasks that felt normal; cleaning the house, making meals, going to the gym.  I was trying my hardest to be a supportive “housewife” but after a while I became very resentful.  I didn’t feel like I knew who I was anymore.   

In May we found out that my Mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer.  While everyone was worried, I was the only person with the “availability” to put everything on hold and go to help out.  (Who are we kidding? There was not much to put on hold!)  While the circumstances of my return to the States were unfortunate, I welcomed the feeling of purpose it brought me.  I felt useful; I could make a difference.  My Mother-in-law is now cancer free and I know going back to the States to help was what needed to be done.  What everyone (including me until just recently) probably doesn’t realize is that the time I spent ”helping” may have helped me as much as it helped her. 

Life is a constant process of learning who we are.  During my time in the States I learned that who I am is not defined by what I am doing or who I am with.  It’s actually quite the opposite; I am with those people, and doing those things, because of who I am.  My guess is that would hold true for most anyone.

One year ago I wrote the following in a journal; “I envy people who know exactly what they want all the time.”  I have learned that no one knows what they want all the time; it changes too often.  Not to mention, sometimes what we think we want is no longer an option and we only waste time if we can’t let it go.  Ironically, a good friend recently posted the almost exact thought about “knowing what we want” on Facebook.  To my friend; learning what you don’t want is just as important.  Figure that out, and what you want will eventually come to you.  

We all make our way through changes in our lives; sometimes more gracefully than others.  Harmony at Last’s newest product, Navigating Change, is truly a remarkable tool to assist in managing change.  I can only wish it was available when I went through my life changing experience.  However, I have it now so that I am prepared when the next big change comes along.  And, I know it will!  Check it out for yourself.  You will be so grateful that you did!

You can read other posts from Tomodachi:
Packing for a long trip.
Are you ready?

We talk about losing inspiration.  But, when it has been lost, is it possible to find inspiration?  Is it something we can go out looking for; maybe around the corner at the local deli?  Or, is inspiration something that sneaks up on us; ebbs and flows through our days?

In my experience, most inspired moments happen by chance.  Inspiration is not found, it just happens.  Yet, we are all guilty of trying to find inspiration.  Often, when we are looking so intently for something, we look right past it.  I’m not saying, “Stop looking.”  I’m just saying that sometimes you have to be willing to allow time and space for inspiration to find you!

For most of my adult life, I have believed that people will always make time for what is important to them.  For instance, when you hear someone say, “I don’t have time to go to the gym,” it’s usually not that they don’t have time for the gym, but instead that the gym is not important enough for them to make time. 
I have been thinking about this philosophy quite a bit during the last few weeks as I tried to make time for all of the things that are important to me.  I have come to the conclusion that despite how hard a person tries, sometimes it will be impossible to make time for everything that is important.  
A great example to my theory is this blog.  I do believe it is important.  It allows me to share ideas and communicate with all of you in an entirely different setting.  Writing blogs is something that I truly enjoy but seem, at times, to be unable to keep up with.  It is not because blogging is unimportant to me, but that there are often other things that are important to me that take priority.  For instance; putting my kiddos to sleep. 
I still believe that, in most cases, people will make time for what is important to them.  But, I think it would be more accurate to say that people make time for what is most important to them, most of the time. 
What are your thoughts?  Let me know on Facebook!

I read this quote today on the back of a t-shirt…

“No matter how bad it gets, there’s always someone out there who would love to have your problems.”  -Fort

Remembering this may not make us feel better or make our problems go away.  However, it does give us some great perspective!

Earlier this week I met Hanna Jane.  Where and why is not important; it’s what I learned from her that I hope I remember for the rest of my life! 

Hanna Jane turned to me and very seriously asked “wat yur favrut part tuday?”  Thankfully I am fluent in toddler so I was able to translate that to “what was your favorite part of today?”  I thought for a split second and rambled off some superficial thought.  My answer was sufficient enough for Hanna Jane.  She told me that “playing with the buttons” was her favorite part of the day.  I still am not really certain what that meant.  However, if that was her favorite part of the day, it must have been really fun! 

It wasn’t until later that evening when I was lying in bed waiting for sleep to come that Hanna Jane popped into my head again.  I though of her question and really thought about my day.  What was my favorite part about the day?  

Over the past few days I have made it a point to ask myself this question before bed.  It really is a great question to ask yourself.  An amazing thing happens; regardless of what kind of day you had, you start to think of all the good things that happened.  It’s a wonderful way to end the day!  Try it.  Let me know what you think on Facebook!

I know for certain that my favorite part of last Saturday was meeting Hanna Jane.  I will never forget the valuable lesson she taught me!

In the Harmony at Last December newsletter we talked about Christmas cards.  Send them? Don’t send them?  This is probably a debate for the ages.  What is the route cause for sending Christmas cards?  To let people know we are thinking of them; to foster friendships that we don’t want to lose; or because we feel it’s what we are “supposed to do” in December? 

I’m not sure what it is that propels those of us that do send out Christmas cards to do so.  My guess is the reasons are different for everyone.  I got to thinking about this while I was taking down all of the Christmas cards I had received (an entirely different blog subject could be written on what cards should be kept or thrown out). The main idea that kept going thru my head as I was doing this was; “If these people are so important to me, (and I to them) why don’t we keep in touch all year long?”  That’s when I decided to make keeping in touch with the people that are important in my life one of my New Year’s resolutions. 

Everyone gets so busy with what’s going on in their own lives that we often forget that friendships/relationships take fostering.  My plan is to call, send a short email, or quick note to someone each week.  I am interested to see if going out of my way to connect with someone each week this year will bring me more or less cards in December.  Likewise, will I send less or more?  Either way, I have a feeling 2010 will be full of wonderful memories.

How do you keep in touch with friends and family through out the year?  Let us know on the Harmony at Last Facebook page. 

Today was a trying day for me.  Nothing seriously wrong; just busy with life and sometimes things don’t go as we plan.  As I sat in my car at a stop light on my way home, I was aggravated, frustrated, and exhausted from some of the day’s events.  My mind was swirling around what happened in the past instead of looking forward to what waited in my future…. my husband and wonderful children to hug me when I arrived home!
I’m not sure what caused me to glance at the car to my left.  However, it only took a few moments for me to be humbled and reminded that my day was not nearly that bad.  The woman in the car to my left sat motionless, both hands on the wheel; arms fully extended.  She wore a wedding ring on her left ring finger and down her face poured a river of tears.  A child, close to 3, sat sleeping in a car seat in back.  I found myself wondering what had happened to her.  I thought; “now, she had a bad day!” As the light turned green and she pulled away I realized that she may have been having more than a bad day.  On the bumper of her car, pasted to the right of her license plate, was a magnet with the following words; “Half of My Heart is in Iraq.” 
My heart sank for her as I thought about Thanksgiving and her 3 year old son sleeping in back.  I wondered how long her husband had been away and if he would be home for Christmas.  Most importantly, I instantly forgot about whatever it was that had been so upsetting in my day.  And, when I got home, I hugged everyone very tightly.
There are many things to be thankful for every day; sometimes we are just looking too hard!  I am thankful for my family and that we are together for Thanksgiving.  I am also thankful for the woman in the red Subaru and her family.  I hope they are not separated for much longer!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

With Thanksgiving almost here and Christmas looming, I find myself thinking; “I thought I was busy in October!”  With this on my mind, I would like to share an excerpt from Robert Fulghum’s book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”  I hope it will serve to remind us that no one person is perfect!

“The man next door cleaned his gutters yesterday.  Downspouts too.  He’s done it before.  I saw him last year.  Amazing.  I was forty years old before I even knew that people cleaned gutters and downspouts.  And I haven’t been able to get around to doing it once yet. 
“I live in awe of people who get those jobs done.  The people who live orderly lives.  The ones who always do what needs to be done and do it right.  I know of people who actually balance their checkbooks each month.  I know that’s hardly credible, but I swear it’s so.
“These people also have filing cabinets (not shoe boxes) with neat, up-to-date, relevant files.  They can find things around the house when they need them.  There is order under their sinks, in their closets, and in the trunks of their cars.  They actually change the filter on their furnace once a year.  They put oil and grease on mechanical things.  Their warranties runneth not out.  Not only do their flashlights work, they actually know where the flashlights are!
“When their car was last serviced-they know that too.  The tools in their garage are on the pegboard-right where they are supposed to be.  Their taxes are based on facts, not hunches and prayer.  When they go to sleep at night, their list of Things to Do has a line through every item.  And when they arise in the morning, their bathrobe is right there beside the bed and it is clean and new.  Socks-right there in the drawer, folded into matching pairs.  Yes!  And as they prepare to walk out the door into a new day, they know exactly where their car keys are and are not worried about the state of the car battery or if there is enough gas to get to work.
“There are such people.  Ones who have it all together.  Exmpt from the reign of Chaos and the laws of entropy.  I see them every day all around me.  Calm and easy pillars of society.  They are the people in your high school yearbook you wanted to be.  The ones who made it.
“Well.  I am not one of them.  Out of the frying pan, into the spilt milk is more me.  Most of the time daily life is a lot like an endless chore of chasing chickens in a large pen.  Life is an air-raid drill.  Never mind the details.” -Robert Fulghum

I, for one, would like to meet a person who’s list of Things to Do has a line through every item when they go to bed!  Are you more like Mr. Fulghum, or the fictional super hero he describes? My guess is most of us fall somewhere in between the two. Instead of “never mind the details;” remind yourself during this busy time to “never mind the unimportant details.”  Prioritizing is always the key!

Everyone is always looking for a way to save some money.  Here are two that I thought were worth sharing. 

Have you ever wondered if you could save money by switching phone companies, credit cards, or just using a different gas station?  Well, billshrink.com can help you figure that out.  Visit their website to compare prices for savings accounts and CD’s as well.

After you have done that, program the following number into your cell phone, your kids’ cell phones, and anyone else that will allow you to do so.  1-800-373-3411 or 1800Free411 is a free directory service.  The catch?  You have to listen to a 10 second advertisement in return for the information.  Well worth the $1.75 you will save!  Check it out for yourself at their website.

Do you have any money saving tricks to share?  Let us know on Facebook!