I find it interesting that the people I see as having it the most “together” are the people that, quite often, feel like they can’t ever Get it Together! 

Why is that? It’s an interesting battle that I myself have been in.

I juggle 4 kids, a husband, running my own business, and all the tasks that arise in life because of those things.  Despite careful planning and organizing, sometimes there are more tasks during a given day that even this girl can handle.  I find myself saying, “I should be able to…” but I have learned that those words serve no purpose.  I think it is important for everyone to remember that sometimes you are not going to be able to, and its okay! 

Chances are you have it more together than you think.  When you start to feel overwhelmed or out of control, examine your priorities.  You will find there are usually things that can wait until tomorrow if necessary.  And, your sanity is worth putting things off when needed!

On the desk of a new client sat a clear pickle jar, all tags removed, filled with golf balls.  The task at hand that day was to begin the process of de-cluttering her workspace.  While there were many things on the desk, the jar captured my curiosity.  This client did not strike me as a golf enthusiast, but I could be wrong.  When I enquired about the jar I was confused at first by the answer I received. 

“Oh, those are the important things in life.  They have to go first.”  Noticing the confusion that was very likely strewn across my face, she continued. 

“The golf balls are the important things in life, like family and time for myself.  I can fill in the space with marbles and then sand; things like work and errands, but if I fill the jar with the marbles and sand first, there will be no room for the golf balls.  When I am frustrated with something, the golf balls remind me that what I am dealing with is probably a marble, if not sand, and I can handle it.  They also remind me that I shouldn’t spend too much time on the small things; if I do the golf balls aren’t going to fit!”

Needless to say, the golf balls made the cut that day.  However, they found a place on a nearby shelf.  After all, it isn’t clutter if it has a purpose.  How do you remind yourself to focus on the important things?  Let us know on Facebook.  I can’t wait to read your responses!

Named for the outrageous profit margins retailers experience during this 24 hour period, the Friday after Thanksgiving is commonly referred to as “Black Friday.” However, with the economy in its current state, it is more important then ever that we realize that Black Friday for the Retailers actually means Red Friday for the consumer.  The term actually stems from the old accounting practice of using Red ink for debts and Black ink for profits.

For those of you planning to brave the crowds (more then 147 million last year), here are a few things to keep in mind while hunting for those once in a lifetime sales and impossible to pass up deals. 

First, have a plan.  If your purpose for shopping is to complete your holiday gift list, make sure you actually make a list, and bring it with you!  Stores make a considerable amount of money on impulse buying.  By making a list of the people you need to buy gifts for and what you plan to buy them, you can combat the urge to splurge and still get the gifts you need without sliding into the Red.  If you are unsure of what you want to get someone come, up with an appropriate amount that you would be willing and able to spend and write it next to their name on your list.

Second, make a budget.  It is easy for shoppers to get carried away in the moment.  After all isn’t that what the entire day is built around?  Some of us may already have our holiday list complete so Friday will be more for the thrill of the hunt.  Regardless of who you are buying for, having a budget can keep you calm while the world around you is whirling with “last chance deals.”  The key to a budget however, is to keep track of your purchases.  If you buy mom the video camera she asked for make sure you write down how much it cost you next to her name (on your gift list).  No matter who you are buying for, you should keep a notebook handy to tally your receipt totals as you go.  This will keep you aware of what you have spent and how much of your budgeted money you have left while a also keeping your bank account in the black.

Third, make sure to ask yourself one very important question before each purchase.  “Do I need this?”  If there is a chance that you are buying something for the thrill of the sale instead of the quality of the item or the fact that you actually need it, rethink your purchase!  Don’t let yourself get so caught up in the moment that you start to impulse buy.  Asking whether you really need something will prevent you from purchasing items you do not need.

Fourth, do your research.  How will you know if 30% off of that IPod is a good deal if you haven’t looked at what it goes for normally?  If you have made a list, you should have some things in mind.  Spending a little time researching the things you want to buy can save you a lot of money.  Many stores provide prices for items on their websites so there is little effort needed to do a little research.  For instance, if I wanted to get my sister a new camera, I would check its price at Best Buy, Circuit City, Wal-mart, and Amazon.  If I’m prepared with a list of comparable prices I am less likely to spend more then I have to in the stores.  To aid in the researching process there are many websites dedicated to helping consumers find good deals.  To preview the sales, try visiting www.bfads.net or www.blackfriday.gottadeal.com

If you can’t find the perfect gift on Friday, stay calm there are more sales.  Many stores extend their sales throughout the weekend to maximize their profits.  And, if you are not one of the 147+ million people who will be hitting the stores on Monday, you can still take part in the savings.  Many retailers cut prices on their products thru their online the Monday after Thanksgiving.  To take advantage of these deals go to www.cybermonday.com or www.bestcyermondaysales.com.

So, cut your coupons, create your itinerary, and fill out your budget.  This year black Friday will happen as it always does for the retailers.  However, this year make sure it doesn’t become “Red Friday” for you.

Saw this posted on a friends Facebook page and thought to myself, those are words to live by!

“Never make someone a PRIORITY if they only make you an OPTION!”

What Great advise!

“When things calm down, I will have time for…”

Have you ever said this, or maybe thought it?  I hear it commonly, and I will admit to occasionally pushing things off because I feel too busy.  However, the real truth is things are probably always going to be busy.  My kids and husband need things from me, there is always “work” to do, and something is always going to be happening that is outside of my control. 

If we are too busy right now to meet a friend for lunch, go on a family picnic, or visit our parents; when will we have time?  And, when we do have time, will it be too late to do the things we want?  The fact is, our kids will grow up, our friends sometimes move away, and we do not know how long we have before the people we love are taken from us.  

It’s been said that when people look back on their lives they don’t remember work or social obligations; but instead, the memories they made with family and friends.  If work, or other social obligations you have committed yourself to, are keeping you from spending time on the more important things in life , maybe it’s time to reassess whether or not you really need your hands in so many different baskets.  That way if a friend suggests lunch, you can meet at your favorite restaurant!  Oh, when your mom calls next, don’t try to get off the phone so quickly!

A friend’s husband just took 3 weeks off work.  She works from home so this quite dramatically upset her daily routine.  She felt like she was missing out or guilty if she wasn’t taking advantage of the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with him, but she desperately needed her alone time to get things done.  Not just work things, but grocery shopping, cleaning, and her “me time” are things she is used to doing throughout the week when he is at work. 

At the end of week one she was feeling frustrated.  By the end of week two she was happy to let him go golfing or fishing alone.  She realized that needing her alone time to get things done was OK because he needed his alone time also.  Surprisingly enough, he appreciated that she wanted to go with him fishing and golfing but looked at it as his time to relax. By the end of week three she had learned how to manage getting things done while he was out enjoying his time off and they spent a considerable amount of time doing things together.  Now, she’s not sure she wants him to go back to work. 

We all need alone time.  Whether it’s to sit and read a book or, like my friend, to get all your ”to-do’s” completed, alone time is important to keeping a balance in your life.  So, what about you… do you get enough alone time? 

Volunteering can be rewarding in many ways.  We all want to help but sometimes we get so bogged down with helping others that we leave no time for ourselves.  So, is there an art to saying no?  That I don’t know, but here is a trick I have learned.  When asked to help/host/organize/do a lot of work for no pay, don’t give an immediate answer.  Let the person or organization know that you are interested but you need to check your schedule to make sure you can give it your all.  Even if it is something you would really like to be a part of, take some time to think it through.  If you really want to help (you weren’t just feeling guilty and put on the spot), and you have the time, your answer will still be yes in the morning.  However, you may remember the other 3 volunteering obligations you committed yourself to once you get home and realize you really don’t have time this month to help anyone else.   That being said, people generally find time for things that are important to them.  So, if you feel like you can’t say no, remember that you are important too!

Randy Pausch in his book The Last Lecture wrote that everyone should be asking themselves this question.  “Are you spending your time on the right things?”  We sometimes get wrapped up in things that seem important but if we took a step back we might realize that our time would be better spent doing something else.  As Mr. Pausch says in his book, “It doesn’t matter how well you polish the underside of the banister.”  I hope you focused on the right things today.

What are you thinking about?  Are you wrapped up in what is happening right now?  Enjoying every second of what you have at this moment.  Or, are you worrying about what is happening next? (Is there a plan for dinner, will we have enough money to send the kids to college, what, when, where, why how?)  Planning ahead is important, even necessary.  As “responsible adults” we are expected to plan ahead.  It’s so easy to get wrapped up in what is going to happen next that we forget to appreciate what is happening right now.  I don’t think it’s a matter of doing one or the other.  Because it is necessary to plan, we have to learn to be present and plan.  For instance, I know the laundry needs to be done, and next week I have quite a few things to plan for, but as I write this blog I am enjoying the sunshine while the chicken defrosts for dinner tonight.  I will enjoy dinner with my family tonight and try to talk about what happened today, not what needs to happen tomorrow.

Nothing is more important than today…

We all know this; unfortunately a reminder is sometimes appropriate.  Especially for us “planners” (you know who you are). While planning is necessary for a lot of things in life, enjoying the simple, day-by-day moments is just as important (or more).  Have you ever spent hours, days, or weeks planning something then forgot to enjoy yourself at the event?  Try for just an hour today to be present in what you are doing.  You can work your way up to a full day, or week… there I go getting ahead of myself! :) 

For those of you linking to this on Facebook, let me know what simple moments you enjoyed today.