Harmony At Last, LLC

With all of the push to getting more things done, it’s easy to pack a schedule so tight that there is no time for any relaxation. I came across an interesting quote recently about the need to take the time to play. Maybe this will even encourage you to take a break (or more!) from rigid time management.

“It’s more than the shoes, the raquet or bike

It’s more than your swing, the fish, or the hike

It’s more than the skis, the skates, or the snow

It’s ignoring the work and deciding to go. ”

By: Kristen Sheldon

I was able to experience this myself just this evening. After dinner, when it was precariously close to my kids bedtime, they requested to go outside on a night time walk. (We just received 14 inches of snow over the last two days and it was beckoning them outside.) My first thoughts were, “Ugh, I don’t really want to go outside right now. It’s cold and dark. I’d rather just get them ready for bed.” Their little (and persistent) pleas won out and outside we all went. It turned into 20 minutes of sledding, two very happy kids, and a joyful mom. Thank goodness for play!

We invite our readers to ask us their organizing questions. If we choose to respond to your question on our blog, you’ll receive $5 off your next Harmony At Last online purchase.

Question from Angela:

“I am a very visual person. Most organizing tips want everything in boxes and file folders. I have found that these type of systems do not work so well for me because once somethings out of sight; it is also out of mind! (I am most specifically referring to paper clutter: school, mail, coupons, flyers, etc.) Do you have any specific suggestions for those of us who are are so visual.”

Harmony At Last responds:

While it may seem tricky to be a visual person and be more organized, it doesn’t have to be. You’re right that many organizing tips advise you to “put it away”. In it’s most basic form, that advice can be positive. If you have too much out, things can be very cluttered and it’s difficult to find what you need, when you need it. On the opposite side, if you put it away, you feel that you have hidden it for good!

There is a gotcha associated with leaving papers out. The first paper you leave out can be very helpful in triggering you to do something. You see it and you take action. As more papers get added to the pile, you inadvertently hide the actions. The papers (and actions) at the bottom of the pile are hidden by the paper (and actions) at the top of the pile.

Paper itself is a big topic. I’ll cover the basics of paper associated with actions in this blog. If you’re eager for even more depth of paper and getting to-dos done knowledge, there will be telephone classes offered on the topics. Check out “Getting To-Dos Done at Home” and “Organize Your Home with Harmony” for more details. As always, more personalized support is available as well.

Let’s first focus our attention on “limbo land”. This is the area where the piles are located. The papers are in limbo because they are identifying something you want to do, may want to do, need to ask someone about, need to think about, need to save, are not sure what to do, etc. You get the idea. The paper is waiting for you to really assess it, decide what to do, and then move it to is rightful spot.

When you identify a paper that has an action associated with it, there are three steps that you need to take. I call this the “Route To Success Flow”.

1. “R”ecord- Create a master list- you can use a piece of paper, PDA, sticky notes, index cards, a dry-erase board, cork-board, etc. You simply need to write down what the action is and keep all of your actions in one place. Being visual, you will probably enjoy having this placed somewhere that you’ll see it. For example, one option is to use one sticky note per action, place on a dry-erase board, and hang the board in the kitchen. Review the board daily, and as tasks are completed, throw away the sticky. There are always multiple options- if this one doesn’t strike your fancy, don’t give up! Start with the concept of a master list and let your creative juices work out the details.

2. “T”ime- For those items that have time sensitivity to them, place the action in your calendar. For example, if your child will participate in a school Valentine’s Day celebration, you may have actions to buy the cards, make cupcakes, and attend the school party. You’ll want to note the day/time of the party in your calendar and track the actions as described in step #1 (Record). If you want to buy the cards and make the cupcakes on a specific day, you can choose to add that to your calendar as well. You decide what is time sensitive and what is not.

3. “S”tore- It’s finally time to put away the paper until you need it again. You can place them in a container that you choose. File folders are just one option. I’ve worked with clients who liked binders, clear envelopes (the accordion kind with a flap), even ceramic bowls! You’re going to want to keep this container near the area where you have displayed your list. When you review the master action list (and calendar) and notice it’s time to do an action, simply take the paper out of the container.

Here’s the secret… notice I did not tell you to put away the paper until step #3? That’s because if you store it before you do the “Record” and “Time” steps you will hide the paper. Also, if you forget to store the paper after doing steps #1 and #2, you’ll lose the paper even though you are certain you have an action (because you see it on your master list).

Through this process, every action will have an “invisible string” that connects the visible action list with the paper it is attached to. No matter where the paper sits in the storage container, it will be simply found with one tug of the string!

With the holidays upon us, and things get busier at work, I found myself in a situation where my wife had to remind me multiple times to get something done. In the haste of a moment I would rely on my memory to remind to get a task done, but invariably I would forget. It was getting to the point where both my wife and were getting sick of it. Her having to remind me, and for me, having to hear her frustration when reminding me. I realized the error of my ways. I know, that for me, relying solely on my memory as a reminder to do something is a bad idea. With things swimming in my head about work and home I’m lucky if I can hold onto a to-do in my mind for than five minutes (sometimes less).

I’ve had to get back into the habit of simply writing things down.  Ah, the wonder of pen and paper to make up for the short comings of the human brain. That wasn’t quite enough though because I also found that I had little paper reminders all over the house and at the office. The scattering of the reminders was almost as bad as forgetting them.

I had to get back to basics. One System and One Place.  I’m now keeping a few 3×5 note cards in my pocket to take quick notes down throughout the day. If it’s something I need to take care of quickly I have the reminder right there with me. When I’m preparing to leave to office I transfer the undone tasks into my To-Do system. As I empty my pockets at the end of the day I place the cards along side my To-Do system. In the morning I make sure I can make the time to get specific or pending tasks done. It’s been working quite well and the occurrences  of forgotten tasks has gone down (which both my wife and I are happy about).

Are you using One System and One Place? If not challenge yourself as to why not and what benefit you might gain from it.

I was in my mechanic’s waiting room a few days ago having some work done on my car. I opted for the latest Good Housekeeping magazine (Nov 2007) instead of trying to focus on more detailed professional work while I waited. I came across an article titled “Make Your Home Welcoming- in Minutes”. Given my profession of helping people to find harmony in their work or life, I was intrigued by the title and started reading. A few sentences into the first paragraph, I groaned…

“In your entryway, gather all signs of everyday life- mail, toys, shoes- and stash them in a shopping bag that can disappear into a closet.”

Yes, I know that sometimes stashing is all you have time for when clutter abounds and company is arriving… the problem isn’t what they recommended (although I’d prefer not to have to use that option), it’s what Good Housekeeping neglected to mention…

When do you actually retrieve those stashes and mindfully handle each of the items?

More often then not, at the time a homeowner calls me, I help them process bags and bags of stashes from days gone by. Amongst the junk mail and candy wrappers may be uncashed checks, that shoe that was missing, and the bill that never was paid.

If I could rewrite that Good Housekeeping sentence, I would include… “Stash only if you must. Then commit to review the stashed items after the holidays when calm resumes.”

“If it’s not fun, don’t do it.” Have you ever heard that statement before?

“No pain, no gain” is another common one.

So how do you reconcile the difference between the two? The first statement seems to tell us that we should only do things that are fun for us while the second statement says that there is some pain if we want to get ahead. The statements could seem to be polar opposites. Or not.

I have witnessed people who continue to do things that are hard and not enjoyable just “to get ahead”. Maybe they are trying to advance their career, get to-dos done, or finish an organizing project. Most certainly they are following the “pain for gain” concept. I have even caught myself in those situations at different points in life as well. In these situations, the question that must be asked is where do you want to get ahead to? What is the destination? Does one ever really arrive or is it just all about the journey? When do you get to start having fun?

What if we can have fun and enjoy ourselves even when we are doing things that are challenging? Where our energy is passionately focused on reaching our goals, individually or with a team, even if there are roadblocks along the way. Maybe we just don’t view things as painful roadblocks. Maybe they are little speed bumps instead. Maybe we can have fun along the journey and still enjoy fabulous achievements.

Maybe it’s really our perception that makes all of the difference.

It’s easy to get caught up in wanting someone to do something faster, better, smarter, etc. In those times, we have passed judgment on another that where they are today is not good enough. It takes a person of strong character to step back and appreciate that each person is on their own unique journey and is doing the best that they can. Deepak Chopra says it well…

No one is wrong.
In the eyes of Love,
All people are doing the best they can
From their own level of consciousness.

It is a lifelong process
To become patient,
And make peace with the notion
That every person
Is just where he or she
Needs to be.

So when we begin to undertake that organizing project, to focus on improving our work/life balance, or to develop new time management strategies, we will recognize that we are on a journey and have patience with ourselves as we learn new skills and develop new habits. We’ll welcome each day as an opportunity to grow and to do our best. And celebrate each other’s journey with patience and encouragement.

In part 1 of this series, I discussed overcoming self-limiting beliefs with the use of affirmations.

When I first talk with a new client, I am very interested in understanding their goals. I typically ask questions such as, “What are your goals for our work together?”, “When the project is complete, what will your space look like and what will it feel like to be in it?”, and “How will we know that we successfully completed this project?”

All too often, I get answers to these questions stated in the negative context…

* I don’t want to be overwhelmed.

* It won’t look like a tornado just came through.

* I don’t want to be spending so much time dealing with the clutter.

* I won’t be arguing with my boss all of the time.

My response is always the same. “That describes what you don’t want, now tell me what you want.” The client then creates his/her responses in a positive light and I now hear statements of “I want to feel peaceful in my office.”

The positive statements are much more helpful in reaching one’s goals. We can then focus on what is desired as opposed to what is not desired. The energy around the project changes and we can really rally around the wonderful benefits that will be achieved.

Next time you are asked a question about your goals, describe what you want!

If you’ve ever participated in a sport, you may have heard the words “shake it out” from a coach. This statement usually comes after a participant has done an intense move or stretch and needs to move their bodies as a release afterwards.

This same concept can also work really well after a period of intense focus. Whether your studying, organizing, bill paying, participating in a meeting (or anything else that requires a lot of concentration for an extended period of time)– you may find that your body and mind need a break. This is the perfect opportunity to take what I call a “shake break”. Get up, move around, stretch, do a silly dance… the choices are endless.

This technique can provide a lot of benefit for individuals with ADD as well. Add this to your time management practice by simply designating the frequency of your breaks to allow you to have some great focusing time followed by movement time. Some people need a break after 15min while others find that they can work for over an hour before needing to pause. You may even need to set a timer to remind you of when it’s time to take a break.

Next time you find yourself very focused on a task, give yourself a “shake break” at periodic intervals. It will allow your mind and body to become much more clear, provide necessary balance to your day, enhance your productivity, and increase your ability for getting things done. Even better– you can make it a fun way to integrate lightheartedness into your day.

Is negative self-talk getting in the way of you accomplishing your goals? Do you even realize when you are bombarding yourself with this kind of talk? Negative self-talk can take the form of any statements which tend to hold you back, put you down, or otherwise keep you from achieving what you want in life. For example, you may have heard someone say (or maybe caught yourself saying) things such as:

* All businesses are struggling like this one.

* I’ll never get this right.

* No matter what I do, I always mess things up.

* I’m horrible at …

* No one likes me.

* I’m a hopeless case.

Many times these types of self-limiting beliefs are so ingrained in your pattern of thinking that you don’t even recognize that you are saying them.

To get past this type of self-talk, the use of affirmations can be very helpful. An affirmation is a statement of a goal that has been achieved. For example, overcoming of the negative belief that “All businesses are struggling like this one”, you may create the affirmation, “I am celebrating the success of my business with having grown revenue 15% this year”. You can read your affirmations several times during the day (preferably out loud), visualize yourself as having achieved your goal, and even post the statements around your home or office.

If you are interested in learning more about affirmations as well as other success techniques, I highly recommend Jack Canfield’s and Janet Seitzer’s book, “The Success Principles”. They have an excellent section related to affirmations in Principle 10.

It’s time to overcome the self-limiting beliefs and create the life you want. Affirmations are a great way to start today!

A parable describing what happens all too often in the workplace is listed below (not sure who the original author is)… The questions for you to ponder is when there is a task to be done, whose responsibility is it to do it? Does the person know that they’re responsible for it? Has the person actually committed to do it? How will completion be tracked? This is not an exercise in creating a overly laborious structure for getting things done. It is an exercise in communication, taking the initiative, verifying assumptions, and ensuring that the entire team is on the same page.

Whose Job Is It?

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody though Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.